Teen exorcists hope to covert the pagan English

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The Sexorcists…. or rather the anti-sexorists

In a desperate move to bring their nutty backward religion back to the English, a US evangelist is using teen girls to try and rope in the punters.

In what is a spectacular evangelical con-trick the Reverend Bob Larson has worked out that Brits don’t fall for unattractive male evangelicals, like himself, but they might be interested in a trio of nubile young girls.

Sure enough, while Larson would not hit the headlines, the Daily Wail actually reported about his team of three virgins and their nutty religious philosophy.

The kids come with their own “attention grabbing” wacko statements such as “Harry Potter spells are real” and you can catch a demon from having sex.  No-one could really believe this rubbish, unless you were a backward US teen, but it does rather get into the headlines.

But in essence they are all a front for a particularly nasty brand of fundamental religion peddled by Larson.

They, and Larson. claim that demons cause violence, self-mutilation, multiple personality disorders, Satanic ritual abuse, or molestation.

But even if you come for the cure,  you will also be expected to swallow Larson’s right wing, “satanic scare,” anti-dungeon and dragons view of the universe.

Money is also involved.  Larson told the Sunday Express: ‘People pay thousands to go to drug rehab or for a psychiatrist but there is this idea that spirituality should be free. It is not uncommon for a pastor in America to make up to a million dollars a year. I can assure you we are nowhere near that.’

Apparently if you get exercised in one of his meetings it is free, but if you have a private session it will set you back £200.

But even if you want to be tested online  to see if you have a demon you have to front up with some cash, that is if your demon will let you fill in the form.

If you don’t realise how “hard sell” this rubbish is take this quote from his website.

bobpremier2“In one hour you can begin living the life you’ve always wanted. Let Bob Larson, the man who has dealt with more demons than anyone on the planet, show you how to overcome every obstacle of every day. Stop the cycles of failure, poverty and sickness. Break family curses at the ROOT! Discover why you are the way you are and immediately change destructive habits. If you have demons, you’ll be delivered. If you have issues, they’ll be uncovered. If you have infirmities, the healing will begin. No pastor, priest, or counselor has dwelt with more spiritually bound people sad seen them set free. This isn’t counseling. This isn’t therapy. This is intervention to get answers NOW! Your lifetime of suffering can end. Your torment can stop. The job you need, the relationships you desire will be within your reach. The choice is simple–stay stuck or move on to spiritual fulfillment and success in every area of life. Get free, stay free, and live free!”

Vice magazine ran a tape of Larson team’s antics in the Ukraine and showed them to be rather stuck up Yank girls who were a little too much under the thumb of Larson.

They claimed that he was a father figure looking after them in a strange country and Vice totally misrepresented them.

“Vice Media used one single woman, out of thousands of people who received help, to portray us as insensitive and uncaring,” the girls moaned on their website.
Then they really showed what they were made of.

“This woman had been previously removed from multiple church services in the area because of prior disruptions, vulgar behaviour, and delusional ranting.”

Given that the girls claim that such behaviour is the result of demons we would have thought it would have been right up their ally, so to speak.

Apparently not. Mental illness stops being demonic when it does not go away with prayer, which is where Larson’s theory all falls down when the girl’s wave their crosses at it.

Larson is doing what Christians have done for a long time.  They create a sickness which a person was not aware they had, and then offer to give them the cure.

It might work on neurotic people with a strong feeling of guilt, but it is not going to work on someone who is mentally ill, nor indeed someone who is really possessed.
Having worked with exorcists, Christian and others, they usually carefully test to see if the person needs a shrink first.  Then having ruled out all other causes they approach an exorcism in a completely different way.

The last thing they would want is a three virgins waving crosses about and flinging holy water.

As far as Larson is concerned we are the enemy, so what do we know?

 

4 thoughts on “Teen exorcists hope to covert the pagan English

  1. Don108 says:

    Bob Larson has been defrauding people for decades. Here’s a brief summary of his bogus crap: http://home.earthlink.net/~19ranger57/dontread.htm

  2. Ina Custers says:

    Let’s turn them into frogs :-)

  3. Scott Everett says:

    Alright…. This is a new kind of crazy!

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